Published On September 26, 2017 | Power
The other day I was watching a movie, and a very powerful line spoken in one of the scenes hit me real hard. The actress said, “A deadbeat dad is a deadbeat dad”. Not only is that statement true, but the truth about all of us is the character that we display, especially amongst close family and friends, is most likely the real us. Who we really are doesn’t change because we apologize, get caught, or because outsiders say and think that we are great. We are merely the character that we display in our intimate setting. The point the actress made was that whether you live with and grow up with your father in the house or not, if he is a deadbeat, his character will still display that of a deadbeat.
A lot of people decide to pay more attention to the opinions of their outer-circle of friends more than the inner-circle of people that walk closely with them. This often creates a twisted sense of reality and a false sense of one’s true character. Why? Because outsiders are just that- they see you from the outside in, not the inside out. They generally don’t depend on you for much, and they often see you in limited settings. People lie to themselves all of the time about who they are, especially if they base it on the opinions of others. If one lies to himself long enough he will begin to lie to others. What was once hard to do becomes easier and easier! Then, the desire to mask internal emotions and feelings is born, which, if not corrected, leads to a desire for more masking which turns into addiction. An escape (foods, drugs, alcohol, sex) becomes necessary in order to function, because now the spirit, soul and body are not in agreement with one another. Some part of the real you has to be at peace. I believe the spirit, soul and body of a man is created to run like a well-oiled machine, and when that unit is out of sync, breakdown occurs.
Why am I talking about this, you ask? I am discussing this because I see it too much. There can be no freedom without truth, and I want people to be free. This article is not about deadbeat dads, but it’s about getting to the truth so that freedom can take place. One can’t be free if he never recognizes and admits where he is.
It’s clear why people who are recovering alcoholics say, “Hi I’m Blank, and I’m a recovering alcoholic.” The first step is admitting where you are and the character that you have been displaying. One day when I was younger, my best friend and I had a discussion about lying. She told me that I lie. I got mad and defensive. Of course I denied it, until she gave me proof. She told me that I lie to keep from hurting people’s feelings. I tell people I like things that I don’t like. I thought, but that’s being kind, right? When I used that as my defense, she replied, “A lie is a lie”. Wow! She was right. I pondered it, prayed about it, felt guilty, and deceitful. Then I decided I didn’t want to be known as a liar. I didn’t want people to look at me the way I look at people that lie. When people ask my opinion, I want them to always know that I am being honest, even if they get mad with me. I want people to feel that I speak what I believe to be true at that moment, and if I realize that I am wrong, I want them to know that I will quickly correct it, to the best of my ability.
I then realized that my perspective had to change in order for me to be free from that bondage, as there is bondage in always trying to say what people want to hear.) Proverbs 6:16-19 talks about the six things God hates, so, I meditated on that. It says that God hates a lying tongue.
Knowing that God hates a lying tongue was enough to change my perspective.
After my perspective changed, everything in me began to line up. It was hard to choose the truth over hurting someone’s feelings. However, each time it became easier and easier. Although some people don’t really want truth, the great thing is that I know God is pleased with my stance and I feel blameless in that area. It feels good to know that no one can blame me for being a liar anymore. Whether my intentions were good or not, is not the point. Doing the right thing is the point.
So good people, I challenge you to change. Change if you don’t like who you really are. Who you are is who you are. There is no in-between. There is right and wrong, good and bad, up and down, north and south, east and west. Character is one of those definites. If someone has to say sometimes about you, you probably haven’t committed to that thing long enough to really be.
So in this season and every season thereafter, be.
Step one: admit. Step two: to change your perspective. Step three: exercise your new perspective. Step four: enjoy the new you.
Until next time, God Bless!